You Call It Posh, I Call It My Personal Hell v.1.2

I went to Waitrose today, my local grocery store. And it was hell. I mean, I have never! The people in grocery stores are just so…rude. It’s like everyone walks in the door and they immediately lose both their intelligence and their manners. It didn’t help that the store was packed, as it was the lunch hour so people were picking up their triangle sandwiches and such. But degree of crowdedness really doesn’t matter. Empty, full, midway in between, it’s all the same. People block whole aisles with their carts, they don’t move when you say, “excuse me,” they stand in line for the cashier and manage to block whole sections of the store, not to mention the door. I had to park my cart and walk down the aisle to get avocados. Then I had to do it all over again, parking my cart in the frozen food section in order to go around the corner to get juice. All because people stand in line with absolutely no regard for anyone else. People walk around in groups, sloooowly, chatting, ignoring the fact someone may be behind them trying to get to the carrots. I ran over about 3 people’s feet, and you know what? I was happy to do it. That’s what happens when you just stand there blocking the space as I am trying to walk. And you think grocery stores are bad? You should see people in line for an ATM (or “hole in the wall” as it’s known here). They have no problem blocking an entire sidewalk, sometimes as much as 6-8 feet, because they stand in line straight out from the machine rather than waiting off to the side. I purposefully stand off to the side so as not to block the sidewalk and you should see the stares I get from the people using the machine. I want to tell them, “No, I am not trying to see your PIN, I am just being POLITE.” 

What is so funny about Waitrose is how it is seen as “posh.” I find that so ridiculous. Who calls a grocery store posh? I heard that shopping at Waitrose is one of the top indicators someone is posh. OK, then I am posh, sue me. But really? You classify your grocery stores as posh or not posh, and then find it insulting or intimidating to shop at a posh store? Aren’t there other things to worry about in this world? I recently read a column where the woman author discussed how she is soooo intimidated by shopping at Waitrose, it’s so posh, and she doesn’t feel like she belongs. Well you know where she belongs? In therapy. If she’s that worried about where she should do her shopping she may have a few things to discuss with a licensed therapist. I mean, come on! I would never walk into a grocery store in the US and say “oooh, this is soooo posh!” I might walk in and say, “what nice apples and peaches.” But never would I walk around mesmerized by the poshness all around me. Granted, some stores are MUCH nicer than others. I tend to shop at stores where soy sauce and orzo aren’t in the “exotic foods” aisle. Where you can buy 8 different types of apples and romaine lettuce as well as iceberg. But I don’t seek out the posh stores in the city where I live. I mean if quality = posh, then sign me up. I’ll be posh until the end. And just because I’m posh doesn’t mean I won’t run over some feet in the process.

P.S. - I'm not in a bad mood, I swear. I just have moments where I can be sure that if I am ever sent to the underworld I know EXACTLY what it will be like, and how they will choose to torture me. Today happened to be one of those moments. I have other versions too, which is why the Waitrose scenario is version 1.2. Maybe I'll get around to describing versions 1.3 - 2.9 some other day.