Let's Go With the Big One

Riley and I opened the door and were confronted by this. It is directly outside our front door, about three feet in front of our step. I had a hard time not walking right into it, so you can imagine Riley's confusion. I was very curious why this lone pole would need such strong defenses. Is it leaning? Shaky? Due to be torn down? Whatever the reason, they pulled out the big guns for this one.

When Riley and I got back from our walk, I noticed that there was a faint paint smell coming from the pole and its armor. I came to the rather brilliant conclusion that it was recently painted, and hence, it needed a fortress to prevent people from walking into a wet pole, as people are wont to do. I felt much better about the whole situation. But I did wonder why there was no "wet paint" sign anywhere. I guess the waist-high fencing was presumed to be adequate, while still subtle in nature.

Hey Now, Let's Not Get Ahead of Ourselves

I was listening to BBC Radio 4 earlier. I love Radio 4. I have it on in the background most days, and I tell you, it sure does cover the whole spectrum of topics, both interesting and deathly boring. For instance, one day I listened to an almost one hour discussion on pork crackling. Yes, you read that right. Almost ONE hour describing, detailing, debating and tasting pork crackling. Disgusting. Today they had their weekly or perhaps bi-weekly "Gardeners' Question Time." I wasn't really paying attention but I did hear one woman asking about how to stop rats getting into her compost pile, as last winter the rats ate (!) two (!) of her chickens! Now that is an image I have no desire to see. Can you imagine little rats and their rat teeth attacking chickens? And the sound the chickens must have made? The horror. Anyway, the woman was saying she heard mint will stop the rats from coming in, and she wanted to ask about that...and she sort of trailed off..."because winter is coming and I want to be able to stop the rats."

Wait WHAT? Woman, it's May! MAY. Yes, Britain had an unseasonably warm April, in fact one of the warmest on record. But she should not confuse that with SUMMER, meaning it's now autumn and winter will be starting next month. I thought that was very British to think that May signals the imminent approach of winter, although since summer here is entirely unpredictable and usually non-existent, then maybe she is on to something. I don't want to make any generalizations or anything, but the British are notoriously finicky about weather. If it's not too hot, it's too cold. If there hasn't been enough rain, there was too much snow. If it's May, it's winter. I can just imagine the woman:

        "Oh dear, it's May. Winter will be here so soon. I better get to work on my compost pile. I do not want to lose two more chickens this year. Ohhh, how much time do I have? I better find out about this mint solution. If I put it down now that should stop the rats by the time June rolls around."

Ah, BBC Radio 4, I can always count on you to entertain me. If I'm not learning about the history of serving pork crackling in pubs, then I am learning that mint should stop rats from coming into my compost pile and killing my chickens. And why her chickens were gallivanting around her compost pile she did not say. But at least now they should be safe when winter comes in four weeks.

Friday Funday - The Good Old Days...

The days of Riley's leaps and spins. She used to go nuts in our old apartment in San Francisco, so much could get her excited - taking her raincoat off, trying to put her sweater on, taking her raincoat off. But here in London, with less room? Not so much. Poor doggie is being deprived of her ability to spin and leap and jump to her heart's content. But this here video is a great example of just how much air a Wheaten Terrier is capable of getting. Now if only we could figure out a way to strap a chipmunk to her back we'd have a pretty good side show we could take on the road.

 

You Say Sat, I Say What?

I've been thinking recently about the little differences between British English and American English. I think every blogger living in the UK does a post about this at some point, so here I go. I was on the bus doing some serious thinking about this, the place where I get most of my brilliant ideas. I swear, I should spend a few hours a day riding the bus and I would soon be rich off my ideas and inventions, or at least close to developing some really, really good things (people finder goggles, anyone?). I also thought about this last night as we were watching "The Only Way Is Essex," the brilliant show about not-so-brilliant people in, you guessed it, Essex. They were using the term "yous" which I LOATHE, as in "Dave and Riley, yous are coming with me to Sugar Hut Saturday night, innit." I threw "innit" in just for good measure as the majority of spoken sentences seem to end with that here. Literally. So aside from me hating "yous" there are other differences that in my opinion are so strange, and sound almost incorrect to my American English ears.

- Example: Sat/Sitting

American use - I was sitting in the kitchen spying on my neighbors, and simultaneously working on my people finder goggle schematics.

British use - I was sat in the restaurant while Dave ate his morning bacon butty.

- Similar Example: Stood/Standing

American use - I was standing on Hyde Park corner using my people finder goggles to much success.

British use - I was stood there, waiting for Dave and Riley to come back from buying meat pasties.

So basically standing/sitting do not seem to exist in British English. They use the past tense of both words.

- Example: Heating/Hotting

American use - Much to Dave's chagrin, the relationship between Riley and her boyfriend Alfie is really heating up.

British use - Katie Price's relationship with the random Argentinian guy who doesn't speak any English is really hotting up.

- Example: Could do (this is more British, as there isn't a specific American counterpart)

Use - Dave: Why don't you put Riley in her argyle sweater for our walk today?
         Laurie: I could do.
For some reason, "that" is missing. Or, conversely, "do" is added. In the US I would be much more likely to say either "Yeah, I could do that," or Yeah, I could."

I think that's my list for now. I just wanted to point out some of the differences you really only encounter while living here and hearing British English every day. I know it took me moving to London to hear the word "hotting," and really, it's not a word I needed to hear. I'll probably come up with other brilliant examples in the days to come, especially if I ride the bus.

I Feel Pretty, Oh So Pretty!

I gave Riley a bath today. She does not like baths. She doesn't like the groomer or the vet either. In fact, aside from treats, her dog walker and walks, I'm not sure what she likes. Giving Riley a bath is a pretty entertaining experience, if only because she makes these ridiculous low moaning sounds. They're not whines, but they're not really dog sounds either. They sort of sound like a cross between a kid who is fake crying and a purring cat. Low, guttural and totally melodramatic. She's such a drama queen. Speaking of that, I walked her in the vicinity of her dog groomer today and she got very nervous, thinking I was going to torture her by taking her to get a bath. Little did she know I would do it myself later in the day. Then I took her to pick up two prints I had made, and just being near a counter in a business establishment made her worried that she would either be poked, jabbed, examined, groomed or otherwise manhandled by strangers. It was embarrassing to be in a store for three minutes with her whining the entire time. I guess she deserved to have her day ruined by being soaked, soaped and shined. And shiny she is!

In the tub, before the action started. Can you see the fear in her eyes?

Wet body, dry head. Her head looks huge, even more so than usual. 

Wet body and wet head. This is the "wet rat" stage.

During the blow-dry. I think she liked this part, but she would never admit it. She let me brush and dry her, and just sat there, patiently. We were like two girls, hanging out in a hair salon, shooting the breeze.

And then came the good part - treat time. She got a greenie which means bathroom cleanup will be interesting tomorrow. 

She seemed to enjoy it.

Then it fell out of her mouth and she just sat there and stared at it. Weird. 

Once she figured out she was supposed to eat it, it was go time. That thing was gone in under five minutes.

After she had finished her greenie she just sat there staring at me, obviously expecting more for her, you know, effort. 

Since she was finally clean I put her brand spanking new collar on, the one we got while in San Francisco. It is so pretty and feminine, and perfect for the spring/summer season. She is sure to be one of the trendiest dogs in the park. 

What a good model.

I'm Riley!

How pretty her spiky head looks now, post bath and new collar in place. 

Even though her bath is finished and she is free to relax the rest of the night (which is what she does best) she is still really mad at me. She spent the last 15 minutes staring at me, shooting me the evil eye. That dog sure knows how to lay on the guilt. I should add that to the list of what she likes to do.

Postscript - Dave just got home and he decided to add to her misery by brushing her. Getting brushed most definitely goes in her "hate" column. You should see her trying to get away from him. It's like both the vet and groomer are bearing down on her with thermometer and clippers in hand.